HFFL Times: Week One

Hardcore Country – All eyes were focused on Hardcore Country for the second-ever Hardcore Fantasy Football League last Sunday but the league kicked off amid controversy.

Through a connection via the Relentless Radio show, Lin Maoke, the young girl who lip-synced during the opening ceremonies at the Beijing Olympics, was hired to lip-sync during the HFFL Draft pre-game show.

Drama ensued when the pre-recorded track that the nine-year-old Maoke was supposed to mouth over was swapped for Joan Jett's "I Hate Myself For Loving You", a renowned stripping song.

Maoke, who was outfitted in a shiny red schoolgirl's dress, kept her poise and started to mouth the new lyrics as best she could.

"I'll give her credit. Ashlee Simpson just started dancing around on stage like an idiot when it happened to her on Saturday Night Live. It's a different environment here but at least she stood tall and smiled," said Orville, who co-owns the Killer Bee's with Bruder. "I will admit – I was a little surprised when everyone started to clap and whistle to the rhythm of the song, though."

It didn't take long for the Big 'E' Eric Cohen to guide his way to front of the rowdy crowd to get a closer look at the pig-tailed princess.

"I'm crammed in the middle of an all-male can of sardines when Cohen starts pushing his way through the crowd like George Costanza in that episode of Seinfeld where a fire broke out at the kid's birthday party," said Bulluck, who was attending his first HFFL Draft.

"I thought the Sleezy E was about to take a five out, stick it in his mouth and lay down beside her," laughed Pierre from Toronto.

"Joan Jett and clapping do bring up memories from last Tuesday afternoon but that's not why I was getting to the front," rebutted Cohen. "I wanted to see if she was wearing the red dress I gave her."

A week earlier, Cohen invited Maoke down to Hardcore Country for the festivities but she only agreed to take part if Cohen provided a mint new red dress. Coincidentally, the Big E had a red dress hanging in his closet that Cam Stewart had given him many years earlier and he pawned it off to Maoke as if it was brand new.

"I figured I'd give her the dress – it's only been worn a couple of times – she'll think it's new and everyone wins," said Cohen.

Aside from the pre-game show, the rest of the draft went off without a hitch. More importantly, it ran much faster than the inaugural draft in 2007.

"I remember checking the TV monitors as the draft was happening in 2007 and hearing Chris Berman say the first round lasted six hours and eight minutes," said Mike Gentile. "We all knew something had to change the second go around."

The league examined the draft process in the offseason and at the annual owners meetings, agreements were reached to lower the time in between picks from 15 minutes, to two minutes.

It also shortened the time in the green room for the LaDainian Tomlinson, Adrian Peterson, Marshawn Lynch, Joseph Addai, Marion Barber III and Darren McFadden.

Even so, McFadden's wait lasted well into the fourth round before Ben in BC and Richard called his name.

Week 1 of the HFFL season kicks off next Thursday.